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Incomplete Thoughts

I’m feeling mentally beat today, so I’m posting up here some of my half-finished thoughts and blog post seeds. Shout at me if you want to see one of these built out in my next post, and then go below and comment because you’re just shouting at your computer like a weirdo.

Invisible man

ALMONSTER

Sort of like a mimic or doppleganger, starting out as some sort of beige blobby thing begging. Give it some money or it polymorphs into a random monster. Each time it is killed it shifts to a new form instead of dying (re-roll its initiative). Some may go up in difficulty class with each incarnation or some may randomly shift. You can only kill it with kindness.

Robot displacement

THOUGHT DISPLACER BEAST

SOME ASSHOLE BRED A DISPLACER BEAST WITH AN INTELLECT DEVOURER, IT NOW DISPLACES THOUGHTS. THOUGHT DISPLACEMENT AURA: SAVE OR 50% CHANCE YOUR TURN IS DISPLACED AFTER DESCRIBING WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO DO. THE FIRST PERSON TO GET DISPLACED SIT THEIR STUPIFIED AND JUST LOSE THEIR TURN. REMEMBER WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO. GIVE THEM A NOTE CARD TO WRITE IT DOWN. EVERY PERSON THAT FAILS AFTER THEM WILL INSTEAD TAKE THE ACTIONS THE PREVIOUS PERSON WAS GOING TO DO (TO THE BEST OF THEIR ABILITIES). WHILE FIGHTING THIS, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE EVERYONE DESCRIBE THEIR ACTIONS FOR THE TURN AHEAD OF TIME, THINK OF IT AS A MINOR PENALTY THE THOUGHT DISPLACER INFLICTS ON THE BATTLE AROUND IT. OTHERWISE IT FIGHTS LIKE A HYBRID OF THE TWO CREATURES, TELEPORTING AROUND AND ATTACKING EVERYONE WITH PSYCHIC DAMAGE AND CLAWS. THEY LIKE BEING INVISIBLE BUT LOST THE ABILITY FROM THEIR BREEDING LIKE HOW MULES ARE STERILE. THEY CAN SMELL INVISIBILITY POTIONS FROM SUPER FAR AWAY.

hot medusa

MEDUSA-CLOPS

 WITHOUT EITHER ONE MURDERING THE OTHER, A CYCLOPS AND A MEDUSA PRODUCED A CHILD THAT SURVIVED TO ADULTHOOD. FOR SOME REASON ONLY FEMALE CHILDREN RESULT, OR MAYBE THE MALE CHILDREN GET EATEN OR TURNED TO STONE. THEY ARE HUMAN SIZED AND THEIR FEMALE BODY IS BOTH WELL MUSCLED AND CURVY/STACKED, BUT ONE THIRD OF THEIR FACE IS OCCUPIED BY A SINGLE GIANT EYE AND THEIR HAIR IS ONE EYED SNAKES (HAHAHA, ONE EYED SNAKES, GOOD JOKE, THEY’VE NEVER HEARD THAT INNUENDO BEFORE). SHE DOESN’T TURN YOUR BODY TO STONE, SHE TURNS YOUR EYES INTO DIAMONDS. YOUR EYES ARE FOREVER BURNED WITH THE LAST THING YOU SEE, HER, MAKING YOU BLIND. SHE PRETTY MUCH JUST WORKS OUT ALL THE TIME AND IS PRETTY HOT SO IT ISN’T THAT BAD, CONSIDERING. SINCE THE IMAGE IS BURNED INTO THE GEMS, OTHER CREATURES COULD PLUCK THEM OUT AND LOOK THROUGH THEM TO SEE WHAT YOU SAW. SHE COLLECTS THESE TO PROJECT HER SEXY IMAGES ONTO THE WALL. SHE USUALLY POSES WHEN PETRIFYING YOU. LIKE WIERD STAINED GLASS, YOUR SIGHT IS STILL AFFECTED BY THE AMOUNT OF AMBIENT LIGHT. HER PETRIFYING GAZE IS A BEAM INSTEAD OF A CONE BECAUSE SHE ONLY HAS ONE EYE AND NO DEPTH PERCEPTION. IF YOU’VE ONLY GOT ONE EYE OPEN, ONLY ONE EYES TURNS TO A DIAMOND. THEY WOULD BE WORTH SOMETHING IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE SOME WIERDLY SEXY SNAKE LADY BURNED INTO THEM. OH GOD, SHE MAY EVEN GRAPPLE YOU TO TAKE A SELFIE! SHE LOVES MIRRORS, AND IS NOT AFFECTED BY HER OWN GAZE. SHE IS EASY TO FLATTER AND WILL TRADE YOU PASSAGE FOR NEW HEALTH AND FITNESS TIPS. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO END UP LIKE HER DAD.

abstract weapon

abstract weapon

-this weapon is exactly what you think it is, or at least you think so. super legendary world-breaking weapon.

-focusing on an enemy, you can see the numbers and rules that make up the universe. you attack parts of your enemy’s stat block or character sheet.

-attack stats: calling a shot against a stat or ability means they are unaffected by things that use that stat but also can’t use any roll based on that stat.

CON: can’t be poisoned but also have no health (not as good as it sounds, they literally don’t have hit points to lose either so they can’t go to 0 or negative)

STR: can’t melee attack, or pick things up, but also can’t be moved or be burdened.

CHA: totally forgettable and people have to keep making saves to remember their presence, can’t convince anyone or cast charisma based spells

cute orphans

eviction notice

Players come upon a family getting thrown out of their home with many small children and the father in shackles. If players intervene, the landlord won’t stand for it anymore and simply offers them to pay the family’s rent (to puppydog eyes from the half-dozen kids and pleas for help from the mother) to keep father from forced reparations. If paid the rent is paid or the players resolve it in other ways, the family just books as soon as the manacles come off and the PC’s get the basement apartment. If any responsibility was taken by PC’s they are then required by the dispute resolution peace keeper to clear out the mess left behind. The place is full of garbage and precariously stacked junk hiding a nest of trained attack rats and two dozen gross, mystery eggs the size of small children. The eggs are alive and warm. Whatever is inside, if the players allow them to hatch, the creatures inside form a parental bond with the party. They should be unpleasant but hard to get rid of creatures that will follow the party everywhere. The family has gone to a nearby town to setup another nest and they are in some weird cult.

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