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Profane and Profound Part 4

Part 3 is here.

Goblin Staff 6000

This muck-covered, gnawed staff is carved from the chitinous leg of a large insect and has bones, coins, sticks, rocks, or other junk tied to it with grimy strings of leather. Goblins gain one additional spell slot of the highest level they can cast. While wielding this staff, creatures’ sense of smell improves, conferring advantage on any check relying on a sense of smell while also imposing disadvantage on saves against any penalties due to smell. Targeted spells cast with advantage against the target deal an additional 1d6 damage of their type, last 1 round longer, or have a spell DC 1 higher. A spellcaster can use this staff to cast the following spells by expending an equivalent or higher level spell slot: Witch Bolt, Darkness, Stinking Cloud, or Giant Insect.

Golden Fleece 20000

The Golden Fleece is a fluffy, +3, cloth armor that functions as a chain shirt. Once each lunar cycle, the golden armor will instantly revive its wearer after death. They are restored whole and well rested -as if they had just completed a long rest- on the round following their demise. In order to benefit from this revival, the armor must have been attuned to the wearer and only the wearer since the last full moon.

Gordian Knot 300

Gordian Knots are thick balls of coiled and knotted rope. They are hopelessly knotted, so much so that untying any individual string from it does nothing to reduce the overall knot itself. Oftentimes, other fibers, hairs, and threads get themselves caught in one of these. Once each day, one of these balls can be tossed at a creature as an Entangle spell affecting only that creature until it escapes or the knot takes any slashing damage. Once a knot receives slashing damage it falls to pieces, hopelessly destroyed, leaving behind 3d10 pieces of rope which are each 1d10 feet in length along with numerous rope scraps. Untying a piece of rope from the knot requires an intelligence or dexterity check over the course of five minutes, then the user rolls a die no larger than the result of their roll to determine the length of the piece they freed.

Grindstone Chain 15000

This +2 chain mail is woven of layers of small stone rings hanging from a large stone wheel fitted on the wearer’s neck. When donning or removing the armor, the wheel becomes malleable enough to squeeze into our out of but it is otherwise solid stone. Attackers will quickly find themselves worn down after attacking the Grindstone Chain. On each successful attack, the attacker must make a Constitution save, DC 12, or suffer one level of exhaustion. This magical exhaustion grinds on the joints, muscles, and energies of creatures that would normally be immune to exhaustion, reducing their immunity to resistance instead.

Halfling Staff 10000

This small walking stick has a hooks and slings carrying a miniature utensil kit, a small frying pan, fire-starter, and a few pouches for food. Halflings attuned to this staff get one bonus spell slot of the highest spell level they can cast. This staff creates a small amount of food for each Halfling meal time in its pouches, equivalent to a total of one ration each day. The staff’s aura increases the comfort level of any campsite, improving the wielder’s and up to twelve allies’ natural healing rate. Any spell cast through this staff that grants or improves a movement speed is improved by 10 ft. A spellcaster using this staff expend an equivalent or higher level spell slot to cast the following: Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, Invisibility, Speak with Dead, or Freedom of Movement.

Halo 5000

The Halo is a polished steel breastplate conferring a +1 magical bonus to armor class and five additional maximum hit points to an attuned wearer. In many regions divinity is correlated with bodily health and since the wearers of this armor appear to have a healthy glow, Halo’s are incorrectly presumed to be of divine origin.

Hammer of the Anarchist 10000

This simple hammer appears unremarkable, until it is held in the hands of someone with martial purpose and a hatred for Law. Attuned to someone who hates Law or the rulers of their land, the hammer turns a deep crimson red. It then deals damage as a +2 warhammer, and deals triple damage to structures. If it is used to strike someone who has proclaimed their authority over the wielder of this hammer, true or false though it may be, that target must make a Wisdom saving throw, DC 12, or drop to zero hit points and begin dying. Against those who openly favor the wielder’s proclaimed ruler or are Lawful-aligned, this weapon does an extra 1d10 damage.

Hammer of Thunderbolts 8000

Rumored to be inferior copies of a thunder god’s implement, the hammer of thunderbolts charges the air around its wielder. The hammer is too heavy to wield normally, unless the wielder has meditated with the hammer and become attuned. It is a +1 maul wielded in one hand that deals an additional 1d6 shock damage on each hit. It can be thrown to great effect, traveling up to 20 ft. When thrown it deals its normal weapon damage to the target along with dealing 1d6 electricity and 1d6 sonic damage to all those within 10ft of the target. It returns to its wielders’ hand at the end of the round, striking them for its weapon damage if they have no open hands to catch it.

Handmaiden’s Case 100

The Handmaiden’s Case is jokingly referred to as the only handmaiden that can actually keep a secret. When any jewelry is put in the small, velvet lined box and the box is shut, the jewelry is polished and cleaned to peak condition. This does not remove imperfections or damage from the jewelry and any grime cleaned from the piece is moved to underneath the lining for later disposal.

Heart Mender 20000

Made of a young willow sapling, and a magically preserved spirit of springtime, this flexible quarterstaff is a +2 weapon with a reach of 15 ft. Upon striking a target with half of fewer hit points remaining, the creature is instead healed by an amount equal to the staff’s damage roll instead of harmed by the blow.

Holy Avenger 20000

Immaculate. Pure. Platinum handled. Pearl and diamond studded. Holy weapons such as these are born from the kindest of deeds done by the humblest hearts. First seen when a small congregation of one hundred pilgrims of an ancient sun god were beset upon by a horde of demons and undead, the staves and tools they clutched became true weapons, touched by their god’s blessing. To this day, it is rumored that only one hundred of these weapons exist in the world, and they supposedly fade from the world once no longer needed to be ready to appear where they will do the most good. It acts as a +3 weapon once attuned to its wielder, dealing an additional 2d8 radiant damage to undead or evil outsiders and can be called upon to smite a foe three times each day. Smiting a foe adds damage to the Holy Avenger’s blows equal to its wielder’s number of hit dice to its attacks until the beginning of the wielder’s next turn. An evil creature that becomes attuned to this blade must either take an oath of goodness, release the Holy Avenger, or take 2d6 radiant damage each round it remains in their possession.

Honorbound Plate 8000

Honorbound armor is a +1 breastplate made of woven bamboo splints. Thick, protruding shoulder pauldrons bear small sticks of burning incense and a wax-stamped parchment. Upon the aged, yellowing paper is written the name of every person that the armor has been sworn to protect. When called upon by an attuned wearer, the armor will add a new creature’s name to the top of the list, and as long as that creature is within 20 ft, the armor can redirect any attack against the protected creature to the wearer of the armor. If the creature takes damage from another creature’s attack, due to the wearer being more than 20 ft away or the wearer choosing not to protect their charge, the armor’s magic is dispelled until the wearer makes a personal sacrifice for a stranger or completes a quest for an authority figure then completing a long rest of meditation. The wearer can swear to protect a different creature or remove a creature from the armor’s protection as a free action so long as no known hostile creatures are present.

Imp Pact Crystal 1250

An Imp Pact Crystal is a bit of hardened soul, coalesced into a small, cloudy, lumpy gem. The dubiously virtuous soul that forms the crystal is only worth a contract with a low level imp or demon, the kind that would see the demon or devil do anything in its power to fulfil the wording of the contract in exchange for the soul of the signer after their death. This can be done by signing such a contract using the gem instead of one’s own blood. Alternatively, evil creatures use these to barter, with these crystals and more powerful ones taking on value equivalent to what their respective demons could perform as part of a contract, although this fluctuates as more or fewer mortals are bargaining with demons at any given point in time.

Inquisitor’s Censure 4000

Long, thick, iron chains bind a screaming face of metal to the forged handle. Carved intricately along the chains are mantras against a great many sins. When swung or used in battle, the +1 flail will emit a noxious incense. Striking a foe will splatter this incense upon them, which makes it impossible for them to speak or cast spells for 1 round, as the mist forces itself down their throat. Alternatively, it can be swung in a circle over the head to spray the thick mist in a 20 ft. radius, blocking all speech and spellcasting inside for as long as the mace is swung plus one round after. Effected creatures can attempt a Charisma save, DC 13, to overcome the effect but they suffer 2d6 radiant damage on a failure.

Interplanar Shackles 27000

These shackles bind a creature in place, physically and spiritually. It is rendered immobile and paralyzed. As an action, these can be applied to a helpless or willing creature of any size, reshaping to bind the target’s form appropriately. The creature can only be moved by another creature pulling them along, allowing them to hobble, float, fly, swim, or burrow only as quickly as the one leading or pushing them along allows. The one holding the shackles or any rope/chain attached to it can Silence the shackled creature at will, no save. Additionally, the Interplanar Shackles allow the holder to magically clean the bound creature as Prestidigitation and to provide enough magical energy to prevent any negative effects of starvation, dehydration, or exhaustion from accumulating further. The owner of the Interplanar Shackles may also cast Geas on a shackled creature once each week, with old Geas effects fading when a new one takes hold. The shackles may be made immaterial at the will of the owner, allowing the shackled creature to move freely until they are made material again. A bound creature cannot teleport, change planes, or otherwise magically move without the permission of the owner of the shackles. Only spells of seventh level or higher can break a creature free from these shackles.

Intimidating Armor 1500

The last part of the ritual to make an Intimidating armor or shield requires painting a scowling visage on the armor with the blood of the type of creature the enchanter fears most. The wearer of this armor gains resistance to intimidation effects and three times each day can apply advantage to an intimidation effect of their own.

Ivorywood Bough 7500

Like its lesser cousin, this ivorywood branch makes a strong focus for druidic and ranger spells. This larger branch comes from an ivorywood tree that has grown large in its druid grove. It adds +2 to the attack or save DC of a spell cast using it as a focus, increases any damage by 2 per damage die, and increases the duration by 2.

Ivorywood Bough, Greater 20000

When an ivorywood tree reaches the end of its long life, it peels itself open, exposing its gleaming white heartwood to the druidic circle that cared for it. The thick piece of heartwood can be carefully crafted into power druidic foci, each of which grants a +3 bonus to the attack and save DC of spells cast using it. Also, those spells deal an additional 3 damage per damage die and last 3 units of time longer.

IvoryWood Bough, Lesser 2500

Ivorywood grows only inside the protected and cultured groves of druidic circles. In return for its protected growth, the tree absorbs magic from the word and allows a few of its saplings to be harvested for foci by druids. Druid spellcasters using this 1-3 foot stick of snow-white wood as a focus for their spells get +1 damage per die, increase their spell’s duration by 1, and increase their attack bonus or save DC by 1.

Jade Crown 12500

This is the crowning piece of the Jade items of the Jade God, an ancient emperor-god long since ascended. The Jade crown gives +2 charisma for the purposes of calculating hirelings/followers for each jade item worn. It also increases the maximum level of any follower or hireling to one level below the wearer, or allowing followers of the same level if four Jade items are worn. Once per day per Jade item worn, the crown can cast Mass Suggestion with a spell DC of 14. When four Jade items are worn, this crown grants the wielder’s hirelings and followers a +1 bonus on all rolls when within 60 ft. of the wearer.

Jade Mimic 1000

Created as decoys or bait for those seeking to collect the Jade items, Jade Mimic’s take on the appearance and magical signature of a random Jade item upon creation. During testing, the Jade Mimic appears to perform the functions of the Jade item it is copying but in real usage, the Jade Mimic will reverse its function. Bonuses for the wielder will become negatives, spells will reverse their targets from friend to foe, summoned or controlled creatures will turn on the wielder, or the effect will maliciously act to put the wielder in a worse standing within its scope of power. Once a Jade Mimic has revealed itself in this way, it becomes automatically attuned, counts as if the wielder was wearing two fewer Jade items, and cannot be removed except by effects 5th level or above. After being removed, a Jade Mimic will teleport to a random location within 1 mile and change appearance to a random Jade item. Only very clever observers analyzing the item would be able to discover its trickery.

Jade Scepter 2500

Any creature the wielder touches with the Jade Scepter takes 1d6 poison damage for each Jade item the wielder is wearing, the scepter can be wielded as a mace. When four Jade items are worn, the scepter can be touched to the ground to call forth a Snake Swarm as a free action, but only four such swarms can exist at any point in time. These swarms obey the verbal commands of the scepter holder. Swarms can be dismissed with a touch of the scepter as a free action.

Jade Scroll 6000

Peering into the delicate green stone paper of the Jade Scroll allows its owner to see into the future, as Auger, at will. It also gives its holder limited future-sight, allowing them to reroll one d20 for each Jade item they wear. When four Jade items are worn, the scroll lets its owner turn one d20 roll into a ‘20’ each day. These rerolls must be used after the roll but before the result is announced.

Jade Signet 500

One of the weakest Jade items, the Jade Signet grants the ability to use Arcane Mark at will and also to cast Knock or Hold Portal once per day per Jade item by tapping a door with the signet. This jade ring bearing gains a faint glow when four Jade items are worn. When in this state, the wearer can cast Dimension Door by rotating the signet ring wearing hand in the air as if it turning an invisible doorknob. They may perform any number of these dimension doors but only for a total distance of 100 feet each day, with a minimum expenditure of 5 ft worth.

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